Seems like this would be a tough one to pin down in a 940.
Though kinda subjective, excessive heat would have to generated at some loose, corroded, poor contact -- whether in the crimp of the relay socket female terminal as I suspect, or any of the remaining 7 metallic interfaces in the relay and relay socket.
An extender cable, like the one you and I both devised, to get the relay itself out of the ashtray, would be ideal for troubleshooting. My approach, if this continued to plague a car, would be to get a voltmeter (or even a test light) wired up tightly to the wire that feeds the fuel pump, so the voltage drop would be confirmed as the culprit. That would remove the doubt about whether the relay is normally warm or too hot because of that voltage drop.

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Art Benstein near Baltimore
Always remember that you're unique. Just like everyone else.
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