There are several ways to play this hand, but be sure to stress the fact that you really like Volvo's and are committed to the brand...no matter what you really feel.

1. You could take the reman unit and accept the fact that it is covered under the new car warranty.
2. You could take 1. and scream for an extended warranty as others have suggested. You have a good chance of getting it.
3. You could scream for a new trans unit, but there is no reason to believe it will be any more reliable than a remanufacturered one. This is a highly unlikely outcome imho, mostly because they will not want to start a trend.
4. You could become the obnoxious in-your-face consumer and demand a replacement car. After all no $40k car should have a major component fail in 90 days. This car must be a lemon and who could trust it now. Etc., etc. A long shot, but with enough pressure on the regional rep, they might cave in.