Two things come to mind, as to the mechanic that told you "when I handed it to him he thought it was the brake controller cause it says "Bendix" on it"....find a new one. Second, you seem to be saying that the vehicle will run(succesfully fire or combust) for a brief moment when you spray some ether into the intake? If so this is usually quite suggestive of a failed RSR(Radio suppression relay) or the ground connection thereto. The RSR is a $25 item that takes all of 10 minutes to change. If you havent done so, I would. You can locate the ground connection by searching this site for "Old geezer stumped". Fellow member "Lucid" had this issue a while back and his post details the location and how to remedy. What state are you located in?
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