Thanks guys,

I'll get under there and check the wiring and the relay behind the glove box.
The sound is most peculiar ... it is actually emanating from the old door chime that is activated when you leave the keys in the ignition and open the door.
I've long since deactivated this from the door switches, but I'm pretty sure the long constant beeeeeeep is coming from the same location just above my right knee under the dash. That is the only device on-board that kicks out a sound. it's funny it should be activated with the transmission kick down short circuit .. and it's a funny it's a constant sound and not intermittent like the door chime.

I'll try to report back if I find some cable problems. Wont be for a couple more days, as there's still mud and snow in these parts.

Any idea how to tell if the relay is bad, without swapping it out with a replacement ?

What model and year is your auto?

As for the crash warning sound.
All I can come up with is that the PO installed this for "fun" and to play a joke on the new owner.

Yes, I agree check your switch wiring. And yes, there is a relay. It is located left of the glovebox once you remove the glovebox.

I'm certainly no electronics expert, but it is most likely the overdrive relay or corroded OD wiring from shifter to solenoid that is preventing the 3rd to 4th gear shift. Check the tranny tunnel "lip" where the wiring leaves the shifter and goes under the car. My 90 rubbed there and wore off so much wire insulation that the wires corroded and caused the shifting failure. Also check the wiring where it attaches to the solenoid.

I have no clue what the noise is...:)