Well, since you asked, any forum is about some common interest. This one has been a godsend to DIY Volvo owners for quite a while.
I think your real problem is that you just bought a car that is at least 20 years old, that is of unknown provenance, and didn't budget $1000 to get it roadworthy.
My guess is that the previous owner didn't sell it because it was perfect. You don't know what can be wrong with it nor why there could be fuel in the oil. You thought that you could ask a vague question and have someone pop up with the correct solution. When no one could, you were disappointed. And for some reason blamed your disappointment and lack of problem solving ability on us. That makes you seem more than a little entitled with no good reason.
Knowing this bunch, I'm guessing that you are in for a moderate flaming.
Greg
ps On a related note, It is possible that the breathalizer on your keyboard is busted.
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