Well thanks guys, this information, while conflicting from time to time , is much appreciated.

Sounds like (nothing surprising here):

1) The Japs can't be beat for low cost of ownership.
2) The "feel" of a Volvo is addictive, especially perhaps in interior refinement.
3) The BMW's are very desirable, but alas, mostly RWD, and might cost as much to own as a Volvo. Audis and Mercedes are no better, and the Passat can be problematic.
4) There's more than just me out there with a serious love/hate relationship with our Volvo's.

One item I didn't get much feedback on is:

Is it worth upgrading to a 2001+? I mean, if I'm going to be paying a lot for maintenance, should I might as well have a 2001+ for an overall better ownership experience (the 2001+ being bigger, safer, and handling better)?

I guess I should just go drive one.

Or should I try to find a nice 1997 or earlier Volvo for better reliability? I know I'd loose the AWD, but FWD is pretty much all I need.

There's also the Lexus RX300 and Acura MDX...not wagons, but not big SUV's either.

Again, much thanks.