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The Case of the missing case (of oil) : Solved 900

Beloit, WI
September 6, 2004

A case which has been baffling local Volvo authorities for weeks has finally been declared closed today. Saga, a blue 1993 Volvo 945 had been going through over a quart of oil every 100 miles or so, with no obvious signs of leakage or burning. Fred, Sagas part owner, and the owner of another 900 series Volvo, was stumped as to the cause of this missing oil.

"There were no stains on the driveway, or smoke out of the tailpipe" he was quoted as saying. "Absolutely no clue whatsoever where all the oil was going."

The case had many others scratching their heads. Everyone from professional Volvo mechanics, fellow owners on the Brickboard, and mechanical engineers were consulted, but no evidence of missing oil could be found, and none of the suggestions offered seemed to lead to the culprit.

This all changed one day on a trip to nearby Chicago, Illinois. Fred was driving down the I-90 toll road towards O'Hare international airport at around 70 mph. Suddenly. he was forced to stop rahter quickly due to a traffic incident. After coming to a complete stop, he noticed the tell-tale acrid smell of burning oil, and a wisp of blue smoke rising from the engine compartment. He immediately pulled over, popped the hood, and amazingly, caught the oil consuming culprit red-handed: It was his trusty oil cap.

It seems that when the car was at speed, oil was allowed to bubble out from under the cap, where it leaked onto the manifold and was burned off. Due to the fact that this only happened at higher speeds, the pungent oil smoke was blown out under the car, never to be detected by it's driver or passengers.

Fred stopped at a nearby Volvo dealer and took his old oil cap into custody pending further investigation, and purchased a replacement for $10.

Three weeks later, Saga is no longer missing oil, and all concerned are positive the true culprit has been identified. "She [Saga] has not lost a single drop of oil in the last three weeks." Fred reported. "It seems the old cap, while it seemed like a nice enough cap, was a bad apple who was just not with the plan. I guess my lesson in all of this is, for $10 a piece, investing in a new oil cap every year or so is a good idea. Also, look at simple things first. Just cause you're missing a quart of oil every 100 miles, don't go out looking for new engines just yet. Of course, we're all relieved that Saga does not have anything seriously wrong with her engine."

Saga, in a statement of her own, echoed Fred's sentiments. "It's quite a load off my miind that I don't have a ring, piston, valve or valve guide going out after all. I mean I only have 120,000 miles and I just don't think that could have happened to me at this age. I'm glad they caught the culprit stealing my oil, and am looking forward to being able to use synthetic now that my driver can afford to buy it for me."

The guilty oil cap, Angus, was recently convicted and required to serve an indefinite sentence in Fred's "junk box," where he will remain, possibly to stand in as a temporary emergency replacement should the need ever arise. He was mostly quiet and remorseless during his sentencing, only saying that he "would do it again" if he were ever used.






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New The Case of the missing case (of oil) : Solved [900]
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