Hey everyone, it’s been a while.

I was a regular on the board while my 87 240 was a daily/weekly driver back in 2007 and before. Moved across the country, brought the Volvo, and it sat. Briefly restored it to working condition about 6 years ago with some minor electrical work and all new brake discs/calipers/pads. Then the child came. Car sat again. That brings us to today. . .

I’m switching jobs, and with that a company vehicle goes bye-bye. My commute is all of 5 miles, so I figure I might as well give the 240 a shot. I’ve got an appointment lined up at the Volvo shop on Monday but of course I went out to start the car and nothing’s happening. I charged the battery (new in 2016) and it won’t hold a charge very long. With the battery at ~75% and the sketchy Harbor Freight charger on emergency start mode, the engine will crank but won’t turn over. Other thoughts:
I checked the 25 amp fuse behind the battery. It’s in working order and the contacts are clean.
I’ll try out the fuel pump relay as soon as I have another set of hands.
Gas is pretty old. I believe it had stabilizer added way back when, but not sure how long that lasts. Should I drain the tank and put in fresh fuel?
Any other ideas?

I've got the next two days to figure it out. Otherwise I'll be pushing it into the alley for a tow truck to pick up.