Bob, it took me a moment to remember you have a 960, not a 940, so I changed the heading here to help alert readers.
On doing a bit of reading to follow your relay removal progress, yeah, those side mounted relays in the later 760s and early 960s sound like they can be a bear to deal with. Who designed that? Oh right, the same guys that designed the 960 steering column ignition switch assembly that's been mentioned recently.
In the 700/900 FAQ here on relay removal (Relay Locations) it mentions the toothpick trick to try keeping the two side tabs open while you pull the relay out (as in pull/wiggle/pry/curse). I'm wondering if something like a credit card (or putty knife) would work better and stay down between the relays while you try to wrangle it out. Elsewhere I saw it mentioned to try removing neighbouring relays to improve access to the one side tab that's buried down deep. In one comment I saw, it's okay if you have to destroy the relay covers to get at the tabs -really? Seems like it ought to be just a matter of prying it out at the base after the tabs are wedged open, but apparently it's often just as you say, still seemingly next to impossible.
I note in the FAQ here it says "In the 760/960 diagram shown above, A, B, F, J, L, and M are permanently attached to the board". Relay A is the headlight relay you're trying to remove, so does that mean it's never coming out for you?? -doesn't make sense. Hopefully one of our 960 people will chime in with experience before you end up either trying to destroy the relay tray or frying your patience. Good luck.
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Dave -still with 940's, prev 740/240/140/120 You'd think I'd have learned by now
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