It's not a crime to not change your oil regularly. It is not checking the level monthly. And usually if you run a car out of oil, it normally seizes before it overheats. Have you checked your coolant lately?
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Post Back. That's whats makes this forum work.

The first thing you need to do while you're comptemplating whether to change the oil yourself or not is to ADD SOME OIL ASAP to your engine untill it comes up to the right location on the dip stick. Then worry about who's going to change it. And in the future please don't wait two years before checking the oil level. BTY the fluctuating temp gauge has nothing to do with the oil level. You may have a bad temp sensor, loose sensor connection or low coolant level. If the coolant level is low check for leaks. If you want to switch to synthetic do it a little at a time maybe half (2 qts) synthetic the first oil change and all the next.

At first glance, this post looks like troll bait but I am going to give it the benefit of the doubt.

Changing your oil is a simple procedure made even simpler with one $45 tool..Rhino Ramps.

Fully warm up the car
Drive onto ramps
Chock rear wheel
Raise hood
Slide under car with wrench 10mm (?) socket, short extension and ratchet plus oil pan and shop towels
Remove under belly tray (optional)
Place the drain pan under the drain
Remove the plug and allow to drain for at least 5 minutes
Replace drain plug with new sealing washer and tighten 45 degrees past hand tight
Relocate drain pan
Loosen filter from top by reaching down past the alternator (if maintaned by pros, this should be able to done by hand, if not use a strap wrench)
Fill new Mann or Volvo filter with oil
Screw on new filter and tighten hand-tight
Clean up the oil on the motor mount
Fill with 4 quarts of oil
Remove drain pan
Replace belly pan
Unchock wheels
Drive around the block
Check oil level on a level place and fill as necessary


Parts needed:
5-Quarts of oil appropriate to your climate and driving
Mann of Volvo Oil filter
Drain plug washer
Ramps

Tools needed:
Large adjustable wrench
Socket for the belly pan and socket wrench (optional)
Strap wrench
etc...

Assuming this is real, you need to clean the flame trap or at least check it. If you had oil when you started and you do not now, you are either burning it or leaking it...it does not evaporate. Synthetic will not help this so figure it out first.

Mike