This story brings back nightmares. Financial, physical, and emotional. I have lived it twice. I learned a lot the first time and the results of the second event were completely different from the first.
Started with a 99 V70 wagon bought used from a Volvo dealer with an extened 100k warranty by Volvo. Twenty-three trips to the dealer for maintenance in twenty four months made the decision to get rid of it very easy. This was before the throttle recall and Volvo had abandoned it customers. I had owned five previous, and still own a 96 850, so I knew what quality was built into the car. If they can't fix it then it is the wrong car for me. Sold it. Quickly. Never looked back. Bought a new Subaru in 2004. Started having problems the dealer could not resolve. Very long story shortened, I settled with Subura and they provided me with a new 2006. No attorneys involved.
Lessons learned. Quit dealing with the service manager as soon as there is a conflict. Ask to see the manager of the dealer. Make it very clear to him you going to spend your most unhappy moments in his customer lounge while he diddles around wiht your problem car. If you look at the business card of everyone at the dealer you can see who pays their salary. You are showing up at a gunfight with a penknife. Get someone to represent you or do it your self, but for goodness sake do not, do not, do not expect them to represent your best interest. Took me several months of "talking" to Subura to finally figure out the Customer Rep. was representing them, not me. They know they have you by the short and curlies and there is a very high probability you will get tired and give up. You have to get a big handful of their balls and jerk for all you are worth to get their attention. Then, and only then, will they be willing to seriously listen to you. Get a parade permit for the sidewalk in front of the dealership, show it to them. They will soon get the idea this is gonna get ugly real quick and its gonna be in their front door. Right where new wallets are coming in to buy more cars.
Collect paperwork. Have the service manager write down everything he says on a piece of paper, date and sign it. They get very cautious about what they have to put on paper. Write down everything you say to them. Have them sign it.
Stay calm and collected in the dealership. Do your venting at home or away from where the problem exist. Develope a look of total disinterest in your eyes, dealers are looking for that point defeat look in your face so they can wrap it up and move on to the next wallet.
But first, before you spend any more time of your precious life on an automobiles care, take a very realistic look at what the benefits of this encounter are going to be for you. Is it worth the fight to end up with a car that you have doubts about that is going to go back to a dealer you have even less confidence in to fix. Probably not. It will be an expensive, unpleasant, and unrewarding experience no matter how it turns out. Shortening the time frame is about all you can do to minimize the damage to you and your wallet.
Good luck.